Ask More. Get More. Leadership Podcast

How to Stop Allowing Fear to Control You [Rachel Rudwall]

July 29, 2021 Bare Slate Inc. Season 2 Episode 122
Ask More. Get More. Leadership Podcast
How to Stop Allowing Fear to Control You [Rachel Rudwall]
Chapters
Ask More. Get More. Leadership Podcast
How to Stop Allowing Fear to Control You [Rachel Rudwall]
Jul 29, 2021 Season 2 Episode 122
Bare Slate Inc.

Rachel Rudwall is an Emmy-Nominated multi-media Producer working to connect the world through impactful storytelling, and she joins us on The Ask More Get More Show to discuss how you can stop allowing fear to control the decisions you make in your life.

Rachel has been on countless global adventures, ranging from TV hosting for Travel Channel's Epic Lists and HLN's Vacation Chasers, to digital hosting for TIME, Inc. and Tastemade, and from brand content creation for BMW and Chase Bank, to producing shows like Ice Road Truckers and Ax Men. 

She is an explorer, host and writer, has been to over 70 countries and 7 continents and is an ambassador and part of the UN Refugee Agency.

Beyond the screen, Rachel writes articles and shoots photography for magazines like AFAR and Forbes, and shares further global inspiration through Speaking, Keynote Addresses, and Conference Workshops.

A few things we discuss:

We're at our best when we realize it's NOT about us. ("It" being life, communication, storytelling, et al)

Everyone is a storyteller--whether talking to peers, bosses, family members, or other members of our community--so, honing our storytelling skills can help us become more effective in every facet of our lives.

You can find Rachel here:

http://www.rachelroams.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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If you LOVE what you hear, don’t forget to share it!

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Show Notes Transcript

Rachel Rudwall is an Emmy-Nominated multi-media Producer working to connect the world through impactful storytelling, and she joins us on The Ask More Get More Show to discuss how you can stop allowing fear to control the decisions you make in your life.

Rachel has been on countless global adventures, ranging from TV hosting for Travel Channel's Epic Lists and HLN's Vacation Chasers, to digital hosting for TIME, Inc. and Tastemade, and from brand content creation for BMW and Chase Bank, to producing shows like Ice Road Truckers and Ax Men. 

She is an explorer, host and writer, has been to over 70 countries and 7 continents and is an ambassador and part of the UN Refugee Agency.

Beyond the screen, Rachel writes articles and shoots photography for magazines like AFAR and Forbes, and shares further global inspiration through Speaking, Keynote Addresses, and Conference Workshops.

A few things we discuss:

We're at our best when we realize it's NOT about us. ("It" being life, communication, storytelling, et al)

Everyone is a storyteller--whether talking to peers, bosses, family members, or other members of our community--so, honing our storytelling skills can help us become more effective in every facet of our lives.

You can find Rachel here:

http://www.rachelroams.com/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you like what you hear, don’t forget to comment, subscribe and leave a review.

If you LOVE what you hear, don’t forget to share it!

PR and Media Requests here: [email protected]

You can learn more about us here: https://www.bareslate.ca/ 

Watch us on YouTube Here: https://www.youtube.com/c/BareSlate

Discover stuff we love here: https://www.amazon.ca/shop/bareslate

Check out Timeular here: https://timeular.com/ref/bareslate/ 

Note: this post may contain affiliate links and if you click and make a purchase we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the show!


Instacart - Groceries delivered in as little as 1 hour.
Free delivery on your first order over $35.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show (https://www.bareslate.ca/courses/real-leaders-real-life-coffee-plan)

SPEAKERS

Guest: Rachel Rudwall

Co-Hosts: Laura Moon, Nicole Girouard

 

Intro  00:00

This is the Ask More Get More Leadership Podcast by Bare Slate. We're having in depth conversations with industry professionals from around the world to learn more about what they believe to be the best practices in the changing world around us. These are real leaders in real life. And now on to the show.

 

Nicole Girouard  00:20

Hi, everybody, and welcome back to the ask more get more show with Nicole and Laura here where we firmly believe you are one conversation away from changing your life and getting more. Speaking of getting more today we're talking about how you can get more out of not letting fear control you. And we have the perfect person here to do that with us. We have Rachel redwall with us here. And she is Hold on guys, and explorer. She's an Emmy nominated producer. She's a host, she's a writer, she has been to over 70 countries and seven continents. I'm pretty sure Rachel knows a thing or two about facing fear in some capacity and how to not let it control. Rachel, thank you so much for being here with us.

 

Rachel Rudwall  01:04

Yeah, thanks for having me. It's a great topic. Fear is a juicy one. There's so much of it in the world right now to every day people experience here, it's a part of being animals. But there are ways to talk with ourselves internally and decide what to do with it.

 

Nicole Girouard  01:26

So we're glad you're here. Yeah. And you know, for anyone who isn't familiar with you, just do yourself a favor, and Google all of the journeys that you've been on. I mean, it's unbelievable that you the places that you I think have dropped yourself into, and not allowed fear to stop you from going on this planet are incredible. And I know that you are an activist you like to share you like to promote, you're a protector of humans. And one thing that I read that I found interesting about you is that there was a time when you realize that it wasn't all about you. And there was a shift. Can you talk to me about that? what that experience was like for you?

 

Rachel Rudwall  02:15

Yeah, I mean, I think as human animals, we are aware of this one really limited perspective of the world. And that is what we can see outside of ourselves, right. And as such, it seems like things revolve around us. And when you grow up, at least where I grew up in the US, in my generation, you are trained to think that you're pretty special, you get a trophy just for being on the sports team. So that that unique snowflake, kind of mantra with which were raised, teaches us we were were unique, and things should go beautifully for us and so on. 

 

Even when we face challenges, we think like I'm special, I can do it. And that is helpful. But also, it really limits our perspective, because we think that things are about us, when I began really training to be a storyteller. I was told pretty early on, especially with some of the on camera training that I did. It's not about you, over and over and over. I was told that over and over. 

 

Why? Because think of all your favorite TV presenters. They know how to roll with the punches. They're communicating the story with you in mind as the audience, they really translate the information in a way that makes you feel seen and heard and valued. And they're never like, oh, my goodness, how's my hair? And they're not distracting themselves with questions about themselves unless it's just a really human relatable moment. 

 

And so the it's not about you within the context of that, that training and that type of work. But it applies to everything. The moment you realize, no offense, it's not about you. The moment the pressure comes off, my goodness, all of a sudden, you're not as nervous to get in front of people that you've never met, say a few words because you think, well, if I'm in my own head, they're not going to have fun, right? 

 

So if I make it about these people that I've never met before, and I invite them to have a good time and feel connected and feel welcome if I make it about those people. If I show up in service of those people, then I don't have to worry about what my hair looks like. It's not about me. 

 

When you apply that to everything that you have going in your life, whether it's a one on one conversation that makes you a more inquisitive that makes you a better listener, or as a work presentation or the podcast, right? When you make sure that you're connected with the idea that it's not about you then You're much more available to receive input information and to connect with the world around you.

 

Laura Moon  05:08

I love that you're saying all of this because I think you're exactly right. And you sort of touched on a sore spot for a lot of people, which is trying to communicate with a group of people. So you mention maybe a presentation at work, or you're on a podcast, or you're trying to do something of that nature. Is there sort of a darling everyone jokes about picture them with no clothes on? 

 

Or they're in their underwear? Like, to me, that doesn't help? Like, is there a starting point where we can start to think oh, yeah, it really isn't about me. Because I know everyone struggles with that self confidence, right?

 

Rachel Rudwall  05:43

Yeah, I view those opportunities as an invitation. First off, let me say that when I get in front of a new group of people, if it's four people, or 40 people or 400 people, I'm always nervous. I'm never not experiencing fear in those moments. Which is weird, because I've, I've spoken in front of groups, how many times I don't, I don't know, I couldn't count. 

 

And yet, I still feel nerves. And I think, first reminding yourself that being afraid is a sign that something matters. That helps because usually, we're like, oh, I'm afraid and, and we focus on the fear so much that we don't really take into account why we might be experiencing that. And usually, it's just because we want to do our best. Well, it's not that like crazy and scary that you want to show up in the world do your best, that's actually a really lovely goal, to step into the loveliness of just wanting to do your best. 

 

And doing your best involves this, the word I used was this invitation to connect with other people, every time you get in front of a group is an invitation to make people feel seen. Heard, like they're part of the conversation, to invite them to feel special or smart, or like they're having a good time, you can take them on an adventure. But when you I don't picture people naked, but I do find people in the room who are nodding along who seem receptive. 

 

Every time that I find a person who has a smile, or gives kind of like a look, I feel like I'm safer as a communicator. And when that happens, I get more comfortable. And every time I identify someone like that, I become the better version of myself. 

 

Because I'm not in my head. And I'm not in my fear. And another really important thing to remember is that our bodies, when we feel fear, they have a really physiological response. It's the same response that would happen if we were being chased by a bear is the palms are sweating, that the hands maybe are shaking, your voice might feel like it's gonna crack, you might feel a little nauseous or an upset stomach. All of those things happen in true life or death scenarios. 

 

So it's, it's kind of unfair that they happen and ones that are not life or death. But I read in a book, I don't remember where that quote came from originally, but Jean Chatzky is a financial advisor, she writes great materials for women who are looking to learn more about their finances take control of their financial lives. And there's a study which she refers where there are academics who say, fear and excitement have the same physiological response. 

 

So you could just tell yourself before you step in front of that group of people, you're excited. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm so excited. I'm having I'm so excited. I'm having a physiological response right now.

 

Laura Moon  09:04

We have a word in our house. It's called nerve excited nerve yet. And we experience it all the time nerve excited, which is the blend of nerves and excitement. I'd love that you spoke that it sort of opens you up to being more attentive and more aware when you can release the fear. 

 

Yeah, you know, we talk a lot about judgment and how we can play a role in other people's lives by just being present paying attention. I'm going to drop two words that came to mind while you were talking, which is diversity and inclusion, which are really hot topics right now. And you shouldn't always be it. Yeah. But it really starts with, it's not about you. It's not about you.

 

Rachel Rudwall  09:56

Yeah, and one of the important lessons in the divorce And inclusion conversation is recognizing how centering works. When you make something about you, when you make the situation or a story about you, then you lose not only the valuable insights and experiences of everybody around you, but in the case of racial justice, for example, if I, as a white person, am centering myself in a story that is about injustice is affecting other groups, then I'm making it about me in a way that it's not, that takes the power away from what's really happening that gets in the way of the important conversations and change. 

 

And there are so many moments in which we need to pass the mic, in life in general. And as women, as people who identify as women, we've learned what it feels like to not have a chance to utilize our own voice to be given the mic, right. 

 

And so it's important in these conversations about groups that have historically been underrepresented, or marginalized or oppressed. It's so not about us that we need to invite other voices and experiences. And those are the ones that are going to drive the conversation. Because when we center ourselves, it, it pulls a whole train off the tracks.

 

Nicole Girouard  11:26

Rachel, I would love to hear especially from you because you have traveled so many countries and so many continents. Can you talk to us a little bit about what you've observed in terms of diversity of thought and how other cultures and other people, other societies handle fear, and judgment and all of these other sort of human emotions? I suspect there'll be a lot of similarities, but I also suspect there will be some differences.

 

Rachel Rudwall  11:56

That's a really rich question. I'll do my best. Sorry, my super late question. No, it's a great question. And and I would actually imagine that everybody has a different experience of that when they get that out there in the world. But what I would say is, I mean, things like family dynamics, everyday struggles, concerns, question marks. 

 

Those are pretty similar, no matter where you go, but so are the big overarching approaches to understanding life. And so while the everyday can be complicated it can be, it can feel messy or stressful, or restrictive. in a lot of places, whether you're talking about where I grew up in the Midwest, or you're talking about another country, on the other side of the world, when you look at the big picture, it's generally very similar. I have learned that we're all very similar, we're a lot more alike than we are different. 

 

We can focus on the differences all we want, that person dresses differently, eats differently, worships differently, whatever. But we are already animals, we are animals who think highly of ourselves. That's the benefit of like, higher consciousness that we have that we've been endowed with the very well what brains but really, we, we go through the same process we are born, we need food, water, shelter, we seek connection, generally love some semblance of meaning, and we die. That's the path. It's the same across the board, no one has escaped that path. 

 

And so all dress food, warships, calm culture, quote, unquote, aside, were the same and our answers to why we're here what the meaning is, and things like that. They're pretty similar to whether you're looking at them Buddhism, or with the stoics are viewed. Whether you're looking at Christianity or Islam. 

 

There's a lot of overlap between religions and belief systems, between people who often found ways to disagree with one another, and create conflict for often other reasons, and then put it under the guise of religion, right? There's a lot of overlap. 

 

And that's what I've learned. Cultural nuance and intricacy and loveliness aside. Human beings are are the same.

 

Nicole Girouard  14:48

Amazing and if you've just pulled out the it's not about us, we'd be even more the same. Yeah,

 

Rachel Rudwall  14:55

yeah. We can see beyond into Other people, humaneness beauty, fear, want desire when we are looking beyond what our own concerns are. And we can identify that there's a lot to, to to identify with, when we see that and other people. Fantastic. Your journeys are amazing. They're incredible.

 

Nicole Girouard  15:26

The reason why I think it's even more incredible to be able to have this kind of conversation is I think, unfortunately, a lot of people don't travel as extensively as they could for all all kinds of reasons. But I think when you do, and you're probably the perfect person to ask this, the more you travel, the more you can expand what it means to see people and their culture and their differences and perspectives. 

 

From their side. 

 

It's it's easier to have an open mind once you reveal and I love that you say it's not about you. It's the same. I mean, if you've never left your province or your state or your town or your country, I think it's really easy to sort of just focus inward. 

 

Not that it's impossible to not focus outward, but I think it's I think travel and exposure to all of these differences make it easier. Would you agree?

 

Rachel Rudwall  16:24

Yeah. And I love that you added the word exposure, because I acknowledge that travel is considered a luxury. And so it is not a right. And it is not something that is available to people all the time. And so, and that can be for any number of reasons. And I understand that. 

 

And so what's really cool to acknowledge is that the simple act of walking out our front door and doing something a little bit differently, communicating with someone we've never talked to before, eating a new type of food or traveling to the other side of our own town. 

 

Those can all be opportunities for exposure, to create new neural pathways, new understandings of our worlds. Of course, we have a lot more information available to us now at our fingertips, given the internet. So there's a lot more opportunity for exposure. But there's also a lot more opportunity to feel like too much too much information, or too many people telling you why. 

 

People that are different than I am are scary, or it can feel like a lot. But when you have the one on one, and the more immediate experiences of exposure to just a new idea. There's so much potential, and that can be had through micro adventures and through changing our routine. 

 

And there's a there's a girl who's 12, whose name is Dana, who has been featured this week by the UN refugee agency, as it's relating up now to World Refugee Day. And Dana, this 12 year old came from Iraq when she was one with her family. And she resettled in the United States. And she tells this great story. And I don't want to take the shine off her story, because she's the one who told it. But the long and short of it is this guy said something mean spirited to her mom when she was younger. And it was like why do you dress like that? Why do you speak like that go back to your country. And her mother, she tells responded with this is this is my country too. And I would love to sit down and talk about what you think of as your country. 

 

And I can share more about where we are originally from and. And they sat down and they had an open moment, thanks to her great. And that created space for connection. I share that because we don't always have to go far to find new ways to share goodness to open ourselves further beyond the bounds of what we're comfortable with. And to connect with other people. 

 

Nicole

 

Yeah, you're 100% right. And I love that you used that example, because you very briefly said it. But our fear of going outside our comfort zone extends to conversations with strangers, which is one of my favorite roles in life. Yes, yes. Yeah, to like you said go into a different part of town to trying something different. for us and for our community. It could be leading in a different way or being more of a transparent and authentic or inquisitive leader. I mean, if you think about all the individuals that join your Team, you're joining the culture of that organization that's scary for a lot of reasons. And just having that conversation can alleviate, and eliminate so much hesitancy, so much fear. And I think that's an excellent place to start is to start asking questions.

 

Laura Moon  20:20

While really loud, I love that you use the word grace, because she did allow the grace to have the conversation, she didn't jump to the conclusion or jumped to the judgment, she allowed space. And she invited the conversation and that is a person who does not fear

 

Rachel  20:40

hard work, oh, my goodness, she's writing on a lot, do allow space to create the invitation huge, huge and, and the idea that in our works, we could create in our workplaces, we can create more space, I read an article on the BBC, that was talking about how successful ambiverts are in the workplace. And an amber is a person who combines characteristics of an extrovert and an introvert. 

 

Now, the thought is, there aren't that many people who kind of straddle the line equally, naturally, a lot of it is trained, usually people skill one way or the other more extroverted introverted. Whichever way you are naturally inclined, learning. The other side benefits you greatly in the workplace, you are a more successful collaborator, and leader. 

 

So if you're the person who's used to talking, try listening. It's not like insulting to your human nature, to sit back and hear what other people have to say. But if you're used to not talking, challenge yourself to speak in a context or a setting that you wouldn't normally so you get more comfortable with it. 

 

Those are ways that we can expand the bounds of our comfort zone on daily basis, create more human connection, it's shown to have greater success in the workplace when you do that. And I think you'll be surprised by what you find.

 

Nicole Girouard  22:12

I 100% agree. Yeah. It's amazing what you learn just by asking even one simple question, there's something you can learn. It's part of why Laura and I, our tagline is your one conversation away from changing your life. Because you might learn something in this conversation that you didn't know yesterday, and it changes your perspective forever, which is beautiful. I find it exciting.

 

Rachel Rudwall  22:37

I admire the approach asking questions is the best. So just just go around and ask questions. My husband always laughed at me cuz I'm like, What is this dude, this was this that color? And he's like, are you five years old? I'm I'm a grown up

 

Nicole Girouard  23:00

five Roundup. And I'm curious to know, and I love that event me. Okay, so then I'm going to ask because I know we're very quickly approaching time for you to please share with everyone where they can find you where they can watch all of your talks and everything that you've done, guys, Rachel's brilliant, you've shared so much here, but there's so much content out there, people can learn from you and follow you. 

 

So please share where they can find you.

 

Rachel Rudwall  23:31

Thank you, I am at Rachel Rome. That's R a CH e L ROAMS. Not my real last name,  just the word that starts with R but that's you can find me on essentially every platform under that handle. So Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, my website is RachelRoms.com 

 

So if your like, “I don't do the socials, I just want to read a little bit more about what shows she's worked on or something like that” There are links, you can check it out, whatever, whatever your platform of choice is. 

 

And I mean, honestly, the things that I'm that I'm most excited about coming up, that I'll probably be posting about are things like a the world starting to open again, that's me, encouraging people to, to think about ways that they can engage with their world that that feels great. 

 

So there will just be a lot of stuff that I find that I hope you'll also find interesting that I share. And additionally, I am excited about work that I've been doing with the UN refugee agency to help pass the mic to people who have fascinating stories who are resilient and powerful, and I'll be helping to highlight and tell some of those stories through new media content and keep keep tuned in.

 

Nicole Girouard  24:53

Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to sit and let us ask you questions that we'd love to have have you back again when you're free? Because this was awesome, or is there anything else that you want to ask? No,

 

Laura Moon  25:05

I cannot. We could talk all day. We could talk. I'll stop it there because I just you know, you're making an impact and keep passing the mic. That's what we need. Yes. Yes. So thank you for everything you do, and continue to do. It's beautiful. Likewise. Thanks for asking. Thank you. Thank you.

 

Nicole Girouard  25:22

So guys, everything that Rachel said will be in the show notes down below. And of course, if you're looking to get a hold of Laura and I, our information is also down below. 

 

And as always, please make sure that you're subscribed to the podcast because the next conversation you hear just like this one could be the one that changes your life. Have an excellent day. 

 

 

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